The Diary of a 20-Something

The ramblings and internal monologue of a confused 20-something, living and dating in the city that never sleeps.

They’ll tightly wrap you round their finger…

…and brag about it to their friends, it’s nothing but a game to them.

Why do we as ladies feel the need to constantly string guys along long after the relationship has run its course? Now I’m not saying that no man has ever strung a woman along, they certainly have, but usually it gets to a point where either the man moves their attention onto someone they’re more interested in or the girl wisens up. With men, it’s a totally different ballgame, guys will allow themselves to be strung along by a girl they once cared about forever. A girl can have a boyfriend, fiance, husband, child, but one text message or e-mail to that old flame and he is putty in her hands. 

Lets take my college on-again, off-again fuck buddy, Lanky Tool. We started fooling around in the fall of 2008, things fizzled out after a couple of months, but rekindled over the summer and into the next fall and winter before fizzling out again. I was overly invested at times and definitely wanted something more serious than he did, but I expressed my feelings and that is probably the reason for the nature of our rollercoaster of a relationship. I can safely say by the end of 2010, I had worked my way past wanting anything from LT but sex, and things came to an end for what I hoped was the last time. 

So here we are, one year later with only sporadic texts, Facebook chats, and two or three public hang outs that mostly consisted of me verbally assaulting him, and now he decides that he is in love. I’ve told him I don’t feel the same, I moved on, I’ve had lots of good sex with more interesting people, I’ve been nothing but honest with him and he is still around… so I let him stay. I keep him wrapped around my finger just in case I need him, and he’s not the only one. There’s Little Brother, the one night stand who worships my older woman status, and Bartender, the aspiring DJ who is in love with our sex even though he’s got a boo, and of course Summer Fling, back in his middling high school-esque relationship, but only until I bat my eyelashes. Why do I do this though? Well the truth is… because I can. 

I didn’t realize just how messed up it is that we girls do things like this though, until I saw it from the other side…

It’s Long Island you guys, I think I’m giving up. The sex was (mostly) great, especially that one morning… well, all the mornings, and he made me laugh constantly. Everything about him, just worked for me, except for one thing… the exes. Both from lands far, far away and at least one of whom falls into the “long since moved on” category, yet both stringing him along. I didn’t notice it at first because we didn’t see each other that often, but the second time I went to his place it was like it all came crashing into my face, the way he texted with his screen turned away, how he left the room to pick up a call, and when he opened his e-mail it was filled with little notes all from the same person over the course of a few weeks. Finally we talked about them, and the more I learned the more I realized they we’re doing exactly what I was doing with Lanky Tool, keeping Long Island wrapped around their little fingers. He can’t see it, so I won’t bother trying to explain, he’d only end up resenting me. So it’s time to move along, I’ll never be able to compete… I should know.

Well Long Island, it’s been fun, I guess… just call me when you’ve been cut loose.

  1. diaryofa20something posted this